In what experts are calling the “most generous act of footy-based desperation since Collingwood fans paid for Jordan De Goey’s Bali bail,” a St Kilda fan has officially listed his beloved 2006 Holden Rodeo on Facebook Marketplace — all in the name of keeping star winger Nasiah Wanganeen-Milera in red, white and black.
Lifelong Sainter and second-generation pie warmer, Gary “Spanner” Doyle (43), says he had no choice after hearing Wanganeen-Milera could be poached by Port Adelaide or the Crows for $1.4 million a year.
“Mate, it was either sell the ute or start robbing banks. And I love that ute. But I love Nasiah more,” Gary told reporters while stroking the faded Saints decal on the tailgate.
The advertisement for the rustic Holden Rodeo — titled “Ute For Sale To Save Our Lord And Saviour Nasiah” — has already gone semi-viral, with fellow Saints fans offering extra cash and meat tray vouchers.
“Seats two. Fits 400 Saints flags. V8 engine and full Saints audio playlist preloaded. I once cried in this car after the 2010 draw. Twice.”
“IF NASIAH GOES, I GO”
Gary’s devotion to the silky-skilled half-back turned midfield maestro goes back to Nasiah’s debut game.
“The moment I saw him deliver a lace-out 60m left-footer to Max King, I said to myself: this kid will one day bankrupt our club — and it’ll be beautiful.”
With the Saints in deep contract negotiations and rival clubs circling like seagulls at Moorabbin beach, Wanganeen-Milera’s price tag has reportedly surged past what’s legally considered “cap-friendly.”
Club insiders admit there’s now “serious consideration” being given to community fundraising, merchandise overpricing, and crypto schemes involving Ross Lyon NFTs just to get the deal done.
“IT’S MORE THAN A CAR”
Gary’s ute has been part of the family for nearly 20 years, passed down by his late father Mick, who himself sold a fridge to pay for Nick Riewoldt’s first boots.
“Dad would’ve understood. We’re a football family. He always said if a generational wingman ever graced our club, sacrifice would be required.”
When asked if the club had acknowledged his efforts, Gary said he received a Saints bumper sticker and a voicemail from a marketing intern thanking him for “emotional loyalty conversion.”
GOFUNDME INCOMING
Gary has now started a GoFundMe titled “Keep Nasiah In Bayside Where He Belongs” which has already raised $14.75 and a Bunnings sausage voucher.
Meanwhile, Wanganeen-Milera remains silent on the ordeal, likely unaware that a plumber from Bentleigh East is now walking to work every day to ensure he stays a Saint.
At time of publication, Gary was seen walking down Nepean Highway in a Saints scarf, whispering softly to himself, “It’s worth it. He’s worth it.”
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